The Little Black Book: Parody
by Alexis-Vex
Summary: This Parody is about Vol. 4:Bandit, in Fushigi Yugi, where Tasuki takes Miaka to his 'secret' hideout. Some mild language and innuendoadultish themes. Rated M just to play it safe


Page 74 Volume 4: The Bandit Parody

Scene where Tasuki takes Miaka hostage.

-Tasuki throws Miaka on the floor-

Tasuki: Just stay there an' don' speak! No one can hear ya anyways.

Miaka grins: All the better...

Tasuki blinks: Whadda talkin' 'bout?!

Miaka walks over to Tasuki: I know why you brought me here. Trust me, you're MUCH better candidate than the other guy!

Tasuki: Wa?! Woah! I'm just takin' ya hostage!

Miaka giggles: Oh! I love to play roles! I'll play the hostage, and you can be my captive. Now, let's get down to what we came here for!

-Miaka walks up to Tasuki and kisses him-

Miaka: Oh! Your fangs bit my lip! How naughty!

Tasuki: Get tha hell offa me ya whore!

-Banging on the front door-

-Miaka pounces on Tasuki and tries to..... (Insert thought here)-

-Tamahome breaks the door with Nuriko.-

Tamahome: Miaka?! What are you doing?!!

Miaka: I'm tired of not being able to have fun! All girls just wanna have fun! He's not one of the Suzaku Warriors so I can do as I please!

Tamahome: But...I LOVE you!

Miaka: Oh! I love you too Hotohori...

Tamahome sweatdrops: My name is Tamahome...

Miaka: So?

Nuriko: ooo! Who's this hottie?

Tasuki: Woah! I've been attacked by this whore and some other chick?! I'm livin' a nightmare!

Nuriko: Teehee, you don't know the half of it! shows his symbol I'm not a 'chick'

Tasuki: Dear Suzaku! A man?! Ewww...I think I'm gonna be sick..This is too much.

Nuriko chuckles: It's okay dear, you're not my kinda man anyways. I'm not gay hon, just a cross-dresser.

Tasuki sighs with relief: Can someone get this slut offa me?!

Nuriko: Miaka, honey, get off of him...

-A girl runs through the door-

The Girl: What the fuck is going on?! Shun'u Kou!!!!

Tasuki: Great! Uh....Ari, it ain't what it looks like...

Ari: It looks pretty convincing to me!

-they all glance at "ari"-

Miaka: Who's she?!

Tasuki: She's the commander of my bandits, and my girlfriend you whore, now GET OFFA ME!

Miaka: THAT is MY competition!? How pathetic! I've heard of an easy win, but this is absurd, I need SOME kind of challenge..

Ari(Ariyah): Trust me, I will give you a challenge.

Tamahome: Miaka.....?

Miaka: WHAT?!!! You idiot, what do you want?! Something every woman and whore needs is a STRONG man, like Hotohori but he's a celestial warrior, but this guy aint! Now, get out, I have work to do!

Ariyah: Over my dead body, and someone already dead can't die! bares her fangs

Miaka: What the fuck are you?!

Ariyah: Your worst nightmare, now, off now!

Tasuki: I wouldn't fuck with her if I was you...

-The rest just simply blink-

Miaka: Ahem, he's mine bitch, and there ain't nothing you can do about it!

Tasuki: Wait a damn minute! I AM a celestial warrior Shows his symbol Boy am I ever sorry I lied about that!

Miaka: OH! DAMMIT! You're all a waste! I can screw any of you!

Ariyah: Ahem, and WE still have buisness to attend to, now, I'll ask you one last time, get off of him, or else.

Miaka scoffs: Or else what?

-Miaka is lifted off of Tasuki and thrown against a wall where she is held-

Miaka: What the hell! I can't move!

Ariyah: Of course not..Now, I told you to get off of him

Miaka: WHAT ARE YOU?!

Ariyah: Since you are about to die, I can tell you. I am a Vampire Sorceress, and you picked the wrong man to fuck with!

Miaka under her breath: Aw shit....

-the group just stares in amazement as Ariyah places her sword under Miaka's throat-

Ariyah: now, if my concentration is broken, or if I decide I'm done toying with you, I'll drop you and bye-bye curtains.

Miaka: DON"T DROP ME!

-All the people, besides Tamahome chant-: Drop her, Drop her, Drop her, Drop her.

Ariyah: It seems you are outnumbered.

-Ariyah raises up her hands and Miaka falls through the sword, her blood spurting everywhere.

Ariyah: I would drain her dry, but, I'm afraid I might catch something.

Tasuki: Ari, she wouldn't let me go!

Ariyah: I know, she's dead now, I don't care.

Tamahome cries

Ariyah: O suck it up already! There's plenty of more women in Konan that are a hell of a lot better than her!

Tamahome: But I loved her..

Nuriko: But she was a whore

Ariyah: Not to mention an idiot

Nuriko: And UGLY

Tamahome: You're right! Good riddance to that needy nagging whore!

Tasuki and the rest laugh and leave Miaka's bloody corpse.

-The bloody corpse rises from the grave in a "Night of the living Miaka" and writes down "Tasuki" on a piece of paper with Hotohori, Tamahome, and Ariyah "I'll----get----yous.." (The song, "One Way or Another" plays in the backround)

Miaka crawls across the floor, her blood dragging. "I'll, get you!" She reaches for the phone and dials a number "I need a pizza delivered to Genrou's Hideout S.T.A.T!" she hangs up "Eat first, kill all who have screwed me over second." Miaka gets the pizza, eats a piece and chokes on a pepperoni. "Damn it! I knew I should put Cheese on my tombstone!" -She finally dies-


End file.
